Sex over 50 - why having sex over 50 should
be fun.
- Sex over
50 really should be fun!
Keep your Sex Life Fun
and Active over 50
As you age past 50, you and your partner will probably experience
a number of physical and emotional changes that can have an
impact on your level of intimacy, sexual activity and pleasure.
Just because things change, that doesn’t
mean you have to forget about what has been a source of pleasure
and an important part of your life and your relationship. You
may just have to try new things and get a bit creative. As we
age, sex may not happen as often and it may take a little longer.
But taking longer doesn’t make it any less fun; in fact,
it can make it even more fun. While your sex drives may decrease
with age (related to dropping levels of testosterone in both
women and men), they should not decrease substantially. Practice
makes perfect, so the more sex you have, the more fun it becomes.
See the benefits of joining us
Think differently about sex
Sex is much more than just penetration. All kinds of touch are
stimulating and pleasurable. Take the time to explore each other’s
bodies and find out what turns each other on. Touch is a great
alternative or addition to intercourse. It can simply mean kissing
and holding each other. It can also mean sensual massage, masturbation
or oral sex.
There is nothing wrong with sex for sex’s
sake. If you are in a long-term or monogamous relationship,
keeping sexually active doesn’t always have to mean that
you are both in the mood. Sometimes it can just mean taking
a bit of time to give your partner pleasure because that is
what you want to do for them. Masturbation (self or mutual)
is also a good way to keep sexually active and is a totally
healthy and wholesome activity, either alone or together.
Use it!
It’s hard to get back into any activity if you haven’t
done it for a while, so maintaining an active sex life can be
the solution! You don’t always have to wait for both partners
to have both the time and the inclination. Sex should always
be a mutual agreement, but sometimes you might want to stimulate
yourself or engage in short sexual intercourse sessions with
your partner, just to keep active and interested. Find different
ways to satisfy each other (or yourself) and to keep sexually
active.
Oral sex is wonderful
Perform oral sex on each other more often. Most men and women
enjoy being on the receiving end of oral sex. Not everyone likes
to give it. If you’re uncomfortable giving oral sex, try
to find out what’s bothering you. Do you think it’s
wrong or dirty? Are you unsure of what to do? Do you dislike
the taste? Do you feel ashamed? Talk with your partner and see
if you can discover a solution to make it more fun for you.
Semen is clean and sterile and not at all dirty or unpleasant.
Try tasting it next time you masturbate together. If you really
fear your partner ejaculating in your mouth, ask him to avoid
doing this. Oral sex binds a couple together. The main reason
men stray out of a relationship is that they want to experience
oral sex. Get used to saying "please suck me off",
or "lick me until I come".
Masturbation
Mutual masturbation will give you both a brief affectionate
encounter with a great release. Not all sexual activity has
to be long and leisurely. If you’re pressed for time or
have conflicting schedules, something quick helps keep you connected.
If one partner isn't in the mood for intercourse, then it is
great for one partner to masturbate the other one. Try it at
unusual times or in unusual places, such as downstairs, in the
car, at the cinema or in the woods. The more you experience
orgasm, the longer your sexual feelings will last into old age.
Tell your partner what you enjoy and do not be afraid to ask
for whatever your pet name is for this delightful activity.
(Wanking, Tossing off, Jerking, Shaking, Fondling etc.
Lubricant
Use a lubricant and use it generously. Make it a part of your
sensual overture. It will help increase the woman’s natural
lubrication, reduce irritation or make a penis slippery for
manual stimulation. Flavoured lubricants are available, whcih
can make oral sex more fun.
Communicate
Communication through talking and touching each other brings
you and your partner closer together. Opening up the lines of
communication, when both partners are willing to try something
a bit different, can be arousing in itself. Try it and see what
happens.
Discuss the changes you are going through and how you can accommodate
each other during sex.
Try different positions, a little bit of lubrication, massage,
cuddling. Ask your partner about his or her needs. Instead of
saying what you don’t like or criticising, try being positive
and offering an alternative. “Instead of...” is a
great starter. “Instead of starting lying down on the bed,
let’s try starting by standing up in the hallway.”
Share your fantasies and try making each other’s fantasies
come true. Explore erotica – stories or movies can be fun
to share – and see if you can find something that turns
you both on.
Routine
Change your routine. Sometimes it’s just a matter of making
a few small changes in your routine. Change the time of day
when you have sex to the time when you have the most energy.
Try the morning instead of at the end of a long
day.
Try a new position. Even changing your usual side of the bed
adds a bit of variety.
If you always do it in the bedroom, try another room in the
house if your family situation allows you a bit more privacy
at certain times.
If you always do it on the weekends, try a few mid-week breaks.
Give yourself the time you need to get aroused and enjoy the
journey.
Create romance. While it may take a little longer to get aroused,
take that time to explore each other’s bodies and put a
little bit of romance back into your lives together. Start fondling
each other under the table in the restaurant, in the taxi on
the way home, then continue in the bedroom or downstairs. Try
having sex in unusual or unlikely places and promise to fulfil
your partner's fantasies, however rude they may be. Sex is about
intimacy and most real intimacy is in the mind.
